I Don't Understand Him

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Hi Lucia 

I’ve been in relationship for about four months, and now, honestly, I do not understand him any more. 

We used to chat almost every day, despite him being miles away, and now he just came back…but he hardly communicates. When I asked him why the sudden change, he said that he is very busy with his work. 

I love him; he is so loving and caring. But these days, everything has changed.

Esha

Hi Esha,

You didn't say if he was away the entire four months that you call a “relationship.” If so, it's possible he was simply looking for someone to give him attention while he was away, and now that he’s back, he wants to return to his regular life – without you.

You say that he's so “loving and caring,” but that was in the past. He's no longer loving and caring, so you have to deal with the situation as it is now, not how it used to be.

If someone loves you, they will make time for you no matter what. Saying they are busy with work is just an excuse so that you will leave them alone.  Think about it: If you are really into someone, no matter how busy you are with work, wouldn't you still make time for them?

The bottom line is that if someone loves you, you’ll know it.  If they don’t, you’ll be confused and say you don’t understand them any more.

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from her book, Lucia’s Lessons of Love, at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.