After First Contact

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It’s 1:06 a.m. in Hollywood.

“Usually the shiniest things in this club DO wear their sunglasses along with their shiny clothing; anything for the attention. There’s a big difference between the ‘shiniest’ and the ‘brightest’ thing,” I say.

“Just because someone wears shiny and bright clothing and sunglasses in a club doesn’t mean they’re not too bright in the head,” Silver Medal Girl states as she firmly adjusts her own sunglasses to coincide with the statement.

“I’m not saying that. I’m not here to judge peoples IQs. I’m not even here to judge their IDs – their photos – the way they used to look and dress before they ever came here to Hollywood; before they ever came to this club, before they moved here from small town wherever or whatever and decided to get a new look and a new attitude to play the game. I don’t judge these people. I don’t know these people,” I reply.

Adding, “I’m just saying most of the people who wear the sunglasses at night and the bright and shiny clothes in the club obviously want people to notice them. They want to be seen, and if I wanted that so badly I’d make sure my light didn’t dim after first contact.”

“After first contact?” she asks puzzlingly. “Are you using another sports reference or a sexual reference here?”

“Neither,” I say. “I’m referring to first contact like the first steps on another planet, like a walk on the moon or something. Most of these people – these shiny, attention-seeking people – want others to notice them first of all, then when and if they meet, they want the person they’ve met to think they are different than all the other shiny things on this planet we call Los Angeles, and ultimately they want something new; something out of this world.”