Guys out there, listen up! Here are 10 things you should never, ever do on Facebook if you ever want to get any in real life. (And no, Internet porn doesn’t count.)

1. Don’t be friends with girls who dumped you. She doesn’t get to know anything about you anymore because she doesn’t deserve to ... cuz she’s that bitch who broke your heart.

2. Don’t hit on other girls on their walls or under their photos if you are trying to mack on another girl. SHE CAN SEE THAT SHIT.

3. Don’t come on too strong. Add her then wait a few days, then write her a message.

4. Don’t write: “Jake is lonely today” or “Jake wishes he were dead” – while interesting, not necessarily attractive. Only write positive or funny things on your status updates.

5. Don’t give it away for free. Set yo shit to private. She should feel privileged to be your friend.

6. Don’t keep up every tagged photo. If someone tags you doing something lame or on an ugly day, un-tag it. No need to show her you can drink out of a toilet bowl or your eye gets lazy when you tie a tie.

7. Don’t switch your relationship status ’til you are totally together, for a fact.

8. Don’t message girls with a “my how you have grown” type of statement. “Damn girl you grew up sexy.” YUCKO!

9. Don’t add chicks you’ve never met in person, or it will stay that way.

10. Don’t leave everything on your wall. If your friend writes a post about how you ate cat poop on a dare in fifth grade, DELETE!

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