Don’t even waste your time wondering what’s wrong with you if you haven’t at least checked these items off the list. You’ll be good to go after you’ve covered these bases.

1. TEETH: Get those babies in check, players. Even if you can’t afford braces or whatever it is you need, make sure what’s there is clean. Get floss sticks, teeth whitener, a good toothbrush and strong mouthwash. If we’ve seen it once, we’ve seen it 100 times: “the cute guy with the nasty breath and/or yellow teeth.” Women are attracted to health, and that means a nice mouth. Also they have to kiss that shit, so make it inviting.

2. B.O.: Alright, so this is pretty simple. Deodorant, body wash and cologne all in the same scent preferably. When you wash yourself, get a detachable shower head if possible and turn that shit on like a fire hose and wash yoself. Also a loofah sponge is a good way to really lather up and get clean. Girls may like guys that look dirty, but no one likes a dirty guy.

3. HOBBY: This could be a sport, a musical instrument, an artistic ability, a love of magic, etc. What is it? What’s your thing? Think long and hard if you can’t think of one right away. This is the No. 1 thing that will attract a woman. Girls love guys who have something they love. You need something that you are passionate about to impress her with.

4. GROUP: Do you belong to a group of some kind? Any kind? Something that you really like. Sports team, a band, a gym, a 12-step group, a writers’ group, a church, etc. Girls like guys who have something besides girls to focus on; something they care about and something they are striving for. Also, having a group behind you makes you a more confident man, which makes you more attractive.

5. SKIN: Yeah, it’s not easy bein’ greezy. We understand; we be greezy ourselves! But you should at least be trying to get your skin under check. Basically, girls like white teeth, clear skin, nice hair and bright eyes. That is what makes them physically attracted to you. It tells the world you are healthy. So although some things like scars are harder to help, the basic thing is just the effort. Also, playing into this is facial hair. If you are trying to make your rat patch work for you but it’s all sparse, it’s not helping the cause! Unless you have a full-on five o’clock shadow, forget it. Just stick to the freshly shaved look.

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