I seem to have the same pattern. I meet younger guys (under 25) who seem very interested when we go out. They do and say the right things. I don’t sleep around and usually wait two months. However, suddenly they’re gone – no calls or texts.
I might text once to say hello, but I don’t chase guys or blow up their phones. This is nothing new and has been happening for years. Why does this keep happening to me? —Scarlett Marie
The answer to your question lies in your first sentence – they’re under 25. These days, most guys under 25 are looking for sex first and possibly a relationship afterwards.
Of course, they act interested in the beginning – because they are – but they are interested in sex. They are used to girls giving it up within the first three dates, and if it doesn’t happen, unless there’s an emotional connection, they will move on. Since you don’t have anything solid with them, they don’t feel they need to actually break up with you, and that’s why you don’t hear from them anymore. If you’re looking for something more solid, I would suggest you date older.
Two months ago I met a girl on an Internet dating site. We exchanged phone numbers and started talking continuously. After a week, she told me that she was in love with me. She asked me if I would marry her because we are in love.
I asked myself if I was in love, and the answer was, “No!” I told her I can’t marry her because she is six years older, and I also have to see to my career.
Now she wants to travel to me, and I have told her not to come so soon. I am in a situation in which I can’t refuse her totally, but I don’t want to marry her. What to do? —Reg
If you don’t want to meet her yet, you have the right to say no. Tell her you prefer to take things slow and possibly meet in the future, but right now it’s too soon. If she insists on meeting you before you’re ready, stop communicating with her. She either has mental health issues or ulterior motives.
Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.
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Article posted on 4/19/2010
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