It all started with Andy Spurlock posting zany police blotter tales on Facebook. When his childhood friend Sean Michael Beyer suggested they compile some of the funniest stories together into one book, Hometown Police Blotter, Volume One was born. The 252-page bathroom-reading masterpiece not only details actual calls to the police, sheriff and highway patrol in Spurlock and Beyer’s Northern California hometowns in Nevada County, many of the tales are accompanied by grotesque and almost too real illustrations by David “Star” Fields (envision tamer versions of Ralph Steadman’s graphics in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas).

You’ll be laughing from the get-go; even just looking at Fields’ cover art makes you chuckle. Family Matters kick off the madness with stuff like an intoxicated woman calling to report her husband hurt her feelings when he complained about dinner and loved ones throwing everything from flowers to cheese at one another in anger.

Reports of public drunkenness and nudity dominate Under the Influence. One of my favorites from this section is an intoxicated man calling to report a “criminal” had entered his home, and the “criminal” picking up the phone to say that the caller was too drunk to realize he was a friend.

The Delinquents chapter documents the silly things youth do and also showcases the calls that older folks make to alert authorities to kids’ bad behavior: a mom reporting her 8-year-old’s temper tantrum, skateboarding hooligans and boys “mooning” passing cars.

Dumb Mofos and Cuckoo Clocks are perhaps the best sections since they shine light on the Nevada County’s best and brightest of dumbasses who call the police for a ride, to say they’re out of toilet paper or to check the time. You’ve got to love these crazies for making us laugh, as well as the actual law enforcement staff who have to deal with these calls every day.

I can’t wait for the next volume of Hometown Police Blotter (Can you even imagine what insanity happens in bigger cities?), but make sure to get a copy of Volume One (available in hardcover, paperback and e-pub) because it not only makes you wet your pants from laughter but a portion of its proceeds fund scholarships and benefit the arts and music in schools.

Grade: A

Hometown Police Blotter, Volume One: Nevada County, California is currently available. For more information, visit