I fell in love with a girl, and I told her. She was happy and said we can keep in touch online but she needs time. We spent a lot of time chatting.

One day she said she loves me, but soon afterwards she said she just wants to be friends. I was upset but agreed to be friends.

One day we met, walked and talked and suddenly she told me, “I love you.” However, she called me after three hours to tell me she wants to go back to being friends.

When I don’t speak to her, she gets angry and tells me she can’t imagine herself with someone else but me. When I start speaking to her again, she tells me she just wants to be friends.  

I do love her but what she is doing is making my heart fade. I’m starting to feel she is lying and playing games.

—Alex


I don’t know how old this girl is, but she sounds very young – if not in age, then definitely emotionally immature.

It may be that she’s interested but scared or she may be playing games. It doesn’t really matter which one it is because the result is the same – it doesn’t feel good.

As long as she keeps going back and forth, you can’t take her seriously. She needs to be consistent in both her words and behavior. You can’t have a committed relationship with someone who can change her mind from one hour to the next.

I would suggest you date other girls and tread carefully with this girl.  



Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.