Yes, “they” had it wrong again. Who are they anyway, besides Chicken Little people who – although they say the world is coming to an end – don’t give all their money and possessions (that their “believers” have given to them) to charities or to better themselves or mankind?

It would be nice if they were non-profit as well as the non-prophets that they are!

A few more reasons why the world isn’t ending on Oct. 21 – the new predicted day of Rapture:

4) Our computers haven’t told us so. We all know our laptops and iPhones are smarter than we are, and most of us believe everything we read online – except when we read that they say it’s Judgment Day again. But until our trusted electronics start interrupting our sleep, gossip/tabloid reading and porn watching with unprovoked messages saying DOOMSDAY IS NEAR, we’re good for now.

It won’t be just spammation, but Damnation - when the machines start operating on their own – that’s when we’re in trouble - and it’ll be even worse than when a dude gets porn interruption now, and that’s already like the end of the world for most guys!  

5) Speaking of which, as much as my spamming advertisers would like me to believe in my junk mail everyday, they still haven’t found a way to increase the size of my … junk! When this does happen, every guy, regardless of race, creed, current size or sexual orientation will try to increase their Hammer and their Hammertime, and this will set off a testosterone reaction and erection overload so huge that will have the impact of a nuclear explosion, and not just in our pants!

The new Thors, Iron Men and Incredible Hulks will not be saving the day, they will be ruining it by thinking with the wrong head, proving my ex-girlfriend as a prophet, as she used to say: “That thing is going to get you in BIG trouble one day.”

Luckily for all of us, it’s not going to happen anytime soon, and we’re still here with all the hornswogglers and bamboozlers who try to tell us otherwise. If you don’t know what those words mean, you can look them up online; the Internet is usually reliable … most of the time.

As I type this I’ve got junk mail telling me I have an IMPORTANT MESSAGE. I’m going to read it. However disappointing it may be, it won’t be the end of the world!