Although weather in Southern California certainly doesn’t get too cold, a cuddle buddy or someone to spoon during the night still sounds like a fantastic idea. Despite the slightly unhygienic exchange of bodily fluids during the cuddling process (only talking about sweat here), not many people would be averse to physical intimacy with another human (except for the few mysophobes out there). In fact, the thought of having someone by your side both mentally and physically is extremely comforting.

Humans’ need for physical intimacy is perhaps the culprit for the existence of the notorious serial daters that we all have known, usually being the kid who has not been single since seventh grade, when he began to date incessantly. But for the ones who are flying solo out there, unmet need for a romantic partner can cause dissatisfaction, sadness or even anxiety in extreme cases. Although as we grow older, we act like not having a romantic other is no longer a big deal, we still secretly long for someone to care for us.

But would a romantic partner really help in alleviating or fulfilling that missing piece in your life? Could being single perhaps be a better solution for you at this point in life?

What? Singledom could be fun? You ask in shock. I can’t even understand why some people want to be single. You scoff at the thought.

(Note: if you enjoy being single, then read no further)

At the early adulthood age, most people are single. We began to take it for granted and forget about its positive aspects. Especially when we realize that later on in life when most of us get married, the period that we stay single will only account for a smaller fraction our lives. So why is there an urge and rush to find a romantic partner? Moreover, what is the exact underlying psychology of those who are single and want to stay that way?

They are not as vulnerable and won’t get hurt as easily.

No one will have enough power to hurt you if they break your trust, fail to meet your expectation or cause disappointment.

They are not overly emotionally dependent on a significant other.

Parasitic relationships for materialistic things or emotional needs are never healthy. Being overly dependent on another person for emotional support strips away a person’s ability to support oneself, leaving the person vulnerable.

Being single means they are the masters of their own happiness.

No one would have enough influence or power to set the direction of mood of those who are single. They are responsible for creating and determining what they want to feel; they are the masters of their own emotions.

... and also the master of their own time.

They do whatever they feel like doing, as random feelings strike them. They don’t need to report or coordinate with someone else on their plans. Moreover, a single girl would not have to forgo her dreams of taking pole-dancing classes because her romantic partner deems it “inappropriate.” There is no need to report your itinerary to anyone. Being single means they can focus on developing their individual hobbies, an aspect that people in relationships neglect as shared bonding activity time increases at the expense of personal time.

Most importantly, they are the masters of their own will.

They can check out, flirt or dance with whomever they please. Single ladies and men will not need to employ sneaky tactics to check out hotties. For example, adjusting position in a discrete manner until that eye candy walks into their line of sight.

Even if these reasons for why dating veterans enjoy singledom cannot alleviate your desperate need for a romantic partner, consider this saying: You never find a romantic partner while actively seeking for one, they only come when you are not searching.

When you are actively searching for that one person, your gestures might change and you might appear more desperate and behave less like your true self. So bury deeply your desire to be with someone, and talk yourself into enjoying the benefits and reasons to stay single listed above. Enjoy the current state of life because you never know if at the next moment, you can lose your independence and fun of being single.