Still trying to keep eyes wide-open without wincing or totally closing them to give the full face of anguish I say, “Well, alright man, I guess you might be on the list then.”

He wasn’t. It took me 13 seconds to see that he definitely wasn’t on the list.

On the 17th second, Wil proudly exclaims, “No worries, bro. You’re on my list.”

I was going to let him in by then anyway. Anything to get him out of my face, my exhausted face, now with my unfortunate frown from hell. He called me “bro” more times in two minutes than my real brother has in 25 years.

The four patrons behind me had no clue who he was either.

“I’m on a reality show too, bro. It’s called ‘Can I Get in the Fucking Club Show,’ bro,” says the guy standing behind Kyle who witnessed everything go down.

I laugh and let him in free.

“You’re on my guest list, man!” I say as we mockingly high five each other.

Wil comes running back screaming, “Yo!” “I know, I know. Kyle Dennon’s here! OMG! Are you guys like BFFs now? LOL!” I jokingly remark.

“Ha, ha. Whatever, dude,” Wil says, nodding his head. “Did you get my text? That’s why I came up here before.”

“I love Kyle and rainbows and unicorns and—” I joke as I reach for my phone.

“This coming from the man with the shiniest glitter hand I’ve ever seen,” he says.

“I know, I know.”

I begin to read his text: Two Gorgeous Girls on the couch NOW! “OK, It’s Friday, and there are two GG’s on the couch. What’s the big deal? Are they making out or something?” I ask him.

“Noo, dude. It’s the one girl who’s been sitting there all night, remember? Now she’s got a little friend with her … all by themselves!” he excitedly states.

“Are they making out or something?” I repeat. “What makes this a big deal to you?”

“Not to me. To us,” Wil says. “Did I mention they are all alone?”

“Yes, you did,” I say, “And no, they are not. They now have each other, and they now have one more reason each not to even think about waiting around here until 3 a.m. to go home with you.”

“Us,” he pleads.

“You,” I reply. “Or better yet, you and oh my gosh … Kyle Dennon!”

Wil gives me a look of disappointment that quickly turns into a light bulb flashing with that last thought of him, the two Gorgeous Girls and Kyle Dennon, who is probably giving the girls their Pree-Rees at this very moment.

Not wanting to pass up his newest fantasy hopefully turning reality, Wil runs in as I shout, “GO! GO! GO! GO!”

“Not you!” I then explain to the new patrons who just walked up and try to get in without paying.

One of them gives me a purgatory smile/frown while the other one just stares at my over glittered hand.

“It’s crazy out here!” I jokingly say.

“Is it crazy in there?” a new glitter girl dressed in her shiniest American Apparel asks on the way in.