Sigh. Sex – one of my favorite topics to talk about. Hmmm…I wonder why.
According to sex-pert Silvia Olmedo, it is because I am a guy. Apparently, a man cannot obtain sex as easily as a woman can, which is why we men think about the subject more often.
Though I prefer sleeping, eating, attending concerts and sports events –really, I do—chatting with this acclaimed Spanish sexologist (who is also a psychologist) has changed my perspective on how to deal with relationships and the natural nature of sex – the hunger, its wit, and, of course, the process.
“The thing is that most of us have the wrong idea about love and sex,” she eloquently states. “We have this idea that it lasts forever. I did my research about the chemistry of love, how long it lasts, how we fall in love and why people do not like to talk about sex.”
Olmedo brings an extensive amount of experience from all over the world, including work in Spain, Mexico, the UK, Netherlands, Australia and now the U.S. A simultaneous native of Santa Monica and Mexico City, Olmedo recently published Los Misterios del Amor y el Sexo (The Mysteries of Love and Sex).
“This book has everything you can think of about love and sex,” she says. “And I, scientifically, gave answers.”
In it, Olmedo covers numerous subjects of love and sex. One of the prominent things she discusses and depicts in the book is the length of time a couple is in love with one another; according to Olmedo, chances are that this disappears after a year and half, and this could lead to a potential break up.
Another intriguing subject Olmedo illustrates is that of infidelity and the act of continuing a relationship if that actually occurs. She suggests six things: 1) take time to make that decision, 2) talk about the incident and discuss all details involved, 3) ask yourself the question if you actually can forgive the person who committed the unfaithful act, 4) do not play the victim, 5) be positive, and 6) think about it as a new chapter in your current relationship.
What about masturbation? Yes, Olmedo includes that as well. In order to enhance the orgasm stage, women must and should explore their genitalia on their own. This is pivotal to knowing how to be fully pleased (if that ever does actually occur) by their partner. Contrary to men, who masturbate more often, women need to execute this to ensure themselves ultimate pleasure.
“I always give metaphors for men and women,” she claims. “Men are like pianos, and if you press a key, you will be able to play a melody; they’re very easy to predict in terms of sexual pleasure…but women are very different in terms of sex; they are more like cellos. Women need to be cued every day.”
Olmedo is intelligent in her own way; she is unique, she is extremely attractive, her voice is pleasant, and she knows what she is saying. She has done a lot of research in the area of love and sex. And she has a message for the young adults.
“First, before you love anyone else, you have to love yourself,” Olmedo shares. “Always practice safe sex. Do not be pressured into sex. Do not rush it. It is not a question of numbers…do it when ready. You are cool when you are yourself.”
Los Misterios del Amor y el Sexo is available now.