I recently reconnected with an old college friend. We have both never been married, and he openly talks about how he has not had an emotional connection with most women.
We met at 17 (he was my first kiss) and then got busy in our separate lives but reconnected a few years ago on Facebook. Over the years, he discussed all his women issues with me and I shared all of my hook-up stories with him. Our mutual friends tried to match us in the past, but until recently we never felt that connection.
He lives in another country and recently visited me. We talked a lot and really got comfortable with each other. We discovered we have a lot in common, as well as an amazing sexual chemistry (though I didn’t sleep with him). What he likes about me is that I am not that desperate to marry him (though in truth, I do want to be with him all my life). He even told his best friend that he felt something really strong about me.
I feel so great – I really couldn’t ask for anyone better! It will be a long distance relationship, but I can fly to him anytime. I need to know what to do so that I don’t screw this amazing thing up. -Swati
Congratulations on having found someone you share such an amazing connection with. The best part is that you’ve known each other for a while as friends first, have shared intimate issues with each other and are now able to feel a strong attraction. This is the foundation of all good relationships.
The best way to not screw it up is to take it one day at a time, one encounter at a time. As long as every time you’re in contact it’s fun and feels good, you will both want it to continue. Don’t let impatience get the best of you, thinking it needs to move along at a certain pace. Courtship is like a dance – sometimes you move forward, and sometimes you step back.
The only thing I would caution you against is flying to him. He’s the man, and needs to be pro-active, meaning, he should be flying to you more often than you’re flying to him. He needs to make an effort to see you. By doing this, he lets you know he’s interested, and it also lets him know you’re not just a fling who’s willing to get on a plane at the drop of a hat!
The long distance thing is the only negative I see, but luckily, there is Skype and iChat, so it will be a lot easier to “be there” without really being there.
Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.