No one else had confronted Bob on his annoying habit – which he lamely attributed to "living in Europe" – because they were afraid they might offend him.
"Anyone who’s aggressive enough to take that posture is not going to be offended by something that you say," says Stephen Viscusi, host of the syndicated radio show "On the Job."
He’s right – Bob chuckled and backed off. But not all annoying coworkers can be dealt with so easily, forcing you to consider your options.
John Gannon, a clinical psychologist from Pismo Beach, says the annoyed worker has four choices – advise, adjust, avoid or accept – but each comes with a potential drawback.
Advising (or confronting) could strain relations; adjusting requires you change (i.e., moving your desk so the shoulder rubber can’t get to you.); you can only avoid someone so long, and acceptance takes inner strength.
Even if you aren’t a confrontational person, Viscusi advises people to confront.
"Usually, peers will push you as far as they can to see what they can get away with," says Viscusi, author of On the Job – How to Make it in the Real World of Work. "But they also respect people that are very direct."
On the other hand, a little tolerance in the name of good relations is sometimes your best bet to workplace harmony.
"Chances are, if you’re annoyed by others, others are probably annoyed by you," Gannon says.
THE TYPES OF ANNOYERS AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM:
THE MOTORMOUTH
Offense: He’s cornered you and won’t stop blabbing about resurfacing
his driveway.
Solution: Stand up and look at your watch, as if you have a meeting to go to.
If you have to, just say, "I gotta go" and walk away, Viscusi says,
the constant gabber won’t even blink an eye. If the blabbermouth is on the
phone, use a cell phone to call your line, then tell the gabber you have another
call.
THE LOUD TALKER
Offense: His megaphone voice rattles your nerves.
Solution: Tell him an important person you just talked to on the phone made a
comment about the loud noise, suggesting that his thunderous talking is hampering
your work. If that doesn’t work, resort to headphones or ear plugs.
MR. TOUCHY FEELY
Offense: He can’t stop touching you in conversation, whether it’s poking
your arms or rubbing your shoulders.
Solution: Gannon suggests honesty, saying your spouse wouldn’t appreciate
the touching. But if you can’t muster the courage, Viscusi says, lie. One
good tactic, he says, is to complain that you have bursitis or some other ailment
that hurts when touched.
THE SHRIMP LADY
Offense: She’s always bringing her smelly food to her desk, which makes you
want to retch.
Solution: A humorous comment might allow you to make a point without contention.
("Man, that’s some strong fish you got there" or "Boy, you
THE CREDIT TAKER
Offense: During a meeting, he takes credit for something you did.
Solution: You don’t want to come across as a whiner, Gannon says. So approach
him humbly – "I could be mistaken, but I thought that was my idea."
If he agrees it was, ask him to inform the boss. If he denies it, don’t share
information with him in the future. As a rule, keep a work journal to document
important talks with coworkers, so that if you have to consult with the boss,
you’ll have specifics that give credence to your claims.
THE GOSSIPER
Offense: She’s trashing a coworker you like.
Solution: Appear disinterested, then cut the conversation short by turning the
talk to something work-related.
© 2005, The Tribune, San Luis Obispo, Calif.
Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.
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