Here I am 20-something and completely commitment-free when it comes to the opposite sex. No, I’m not a man-hater, I’m not completely unfortunate looking (although according to societal standards my breasts could be a bit bigger) and thankfully I’m not a slut.
I like to think, I’m just smart.
With Valentine’s Day – the overly produced, overly commercialized holiday – steadily approaching, the more looks of pity, and the "oh that’s too bad" comments I will receive when uttering that dreaded "S" word.
For those who choose to look at me with such scornful looks or choose to feel bad for me because I don’t have a boyfriend, I ask you this: Since when is a person’s worth validated by being in a relationship? Trying to define yourself by who you have on your arm is not only pathetic, it’s denying yourself … yourself.
As card makers, flower shops and jewelry stores try to shove Valentine’s Day down consumer’s throats, for those without a significant other it’s a constant reminder, and for some, it can be one of the most miserable days of the year.
Don’t get me wrong, nothing spells out love like stale, heart shaped chocolates, but I’ll gladly take that one bad day for those 364 days of glorious and complete freedom. Being single means I can do whatever I want when I want and nobody can tell me different. I can go a week without shaving my legs. I can drink my OJ straight out of the container and I can watch all the teeny-bopper movies I desire, without hearing one ounce of complaint.
Perhaps I am a bit too proud of the fact that I’m single. But go ahead and call me selfish, call me what you will.
Relationships take sacrifice. I’m still young and just not willing to sacrifice my independence and my own individuality, something I’ve worked so hard for, for someone who will just cause me more pain than what it’s worth in the end.
Already, too many hours of my life have been wasted, analyzing the he said she said of friends’ lover’s quarrels and too much great advice has gone right through the ears of those so desperately "in love."
If I’ve learned anything over the years it’s that people will do anything to be in a committed relationship. They will allow all of their goals to deteriorate, they will stick with that one person just because it’s comfortable, and they will cancel your girls’ night out just because "he" suddenly decided the two of you needed to spend quality time together. Secretly, he just doesn’t want you having fun without him.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-relationship or anti-love as some may choose to misinterpret my words, I just happen to be pro-single.
And when people tell me how wrong I am about being in a relationship, and how great it is to have someone to snuggle with at night, I just tell them "I find my dog to be the best bedtime companion, thank you very much." —Kym Parsons
SOME THINGS ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR
Why don’t you fight for anything anymore? Why do you sit and wait for things to happen for you and then sigh when they pass you by? If you love someone you have to give 100 percent. No exceptions.
That’s why it’s love and not just a friendship. It’s about breaking down all the walls that bind you and keep you locked inside. The freedom of love is the one thing that can set you free from the life that beats on your heart every day. When you come home and see that person waiting for you, when you pick them up and hold them in your arms … everything fades away.
So, why stay in a relationship when someone isn’t giving you what you deserve? Why do you lie there and just take it? Are you that weak that you’ll let someone shit on you? The potential of love is the most powerful thing that we as humans can reach. Looking into the honest eyes of someone across from you and knowing that you can drop your guard is life at its most perfect.
So, why do you settle?
I know all you are getting are questions as you read on, but I’m not here to give you answers. I’m here to challenge you. I’m here to make you question everything so you can find the real answers to your questions about love.
Look at the holiday in the middle of February; is it an obligation or just another day to show your partner how much you really care? Are they making up for everything that they never do the rest of the year? If they are, why are you still with them?
You say that it’s too tough to find love in the world today and you have to settle for what you have, but is that really the right way to handle it? If everyone gave up on settling and fought for what his or her heart needed no one would need to read this column.
It breaks my heart when I hear people say that they are just "kind of" happy with their partner. Why? That’s the one thing in life you’re not supposed to compromise about. It’s not a job, its not a car, its not a pair of shoes. This is the person that completes you. The one person that you can be everything to and give up forever for. The act of total selflessness is what makes love so powerful.
When you’re vulnerable you are free to be taken advantage of, and when you can lie there and be that free and know with all of your heart that they wont let you down, you can finally see what love really is. So when your partner shows up with a dinner and flowers on Feb. 14, question if that’s all they’re capable of, because you know love is much, much more than that. —David Tobin
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