I have never had as much of a response to a column as I did to the recent one from Lynn, asking how I can call myself a dating expert (Campus Circle, Aug. 1, 2007). All but one of the e-mails agreed with me. I have chosen to answer that person privately, as he brought up a few points that would have kept this discussion going, and I don’t want to turn this column into “The Art of Lucia.”

Here are some of the other emails, along with Lynn’s answer:

Hi Lucia,

I’m an attractive, single, 40-something female who also hasn’t been interested in marriage due to creative pursuits. I’ve finally reached a point in my life where I’m ready to be married and don’t have any problem attracting men of all ages.

Lynn is the typical married woman who always comments to single ladies that we’re doing something WRONG, or else we’d be married. I know plenty of bored married couples who find safety in a partner but lack passion and adventure in their lives. I also know happy couples too that met their “one” at any age, from 22 years to 50 years.

I agree society is still judging and criticizing the unmarried woman. If Lynn thinks you are advising “playing games,” then she sadly lacks the understanding of people’s emotions and desires in today’s society.

Those games are actually “lessons” about yourself and other people. Something that is NOT taught anywhere – in school, parents, media.

My friend showed me your column. We were happy to see advice coming from a higher state of mind/emotions. Thank you, Lucia, for giving the best dating advice that has been missing from today’s world. —Marnice


Nice piece. As a single dating expert myself, I get it all the time. —Evan Mark Katz

Hi Lucia,

Good answer! Although my husband and I have been successfully married for 10 years, we still have dating and communication problems. I believe that anyone who is married and insists that they do not have dating or communication problems is not being truthful with themselves.

I find your advice helpful. You do good work, and if you only help one person in your lifetime ... well, that is spiritual progress. And I’m pretty confident that you have helped many more than one.

In life we are either making a spiritual effort or not. I know you well enough to know that you are making a spiritual effort, and I applaud you. Big hug. —Pam


Damn, your response was f**king PRO!! Loved it. —Sergio

Hi Lucia,

Very good response/commentary. She and you are from very different angles of life experience. She’s not too wrong with her ideas, but her situation/relationship is very rare in this world.

As far as her idea that you are suggesting that individuals “play games,” I’m not sure what she’s speaking of other than your comment regarding “Don’t freak people out.” I’m going to assume here that this is regarding the notion of not smothering one another.

There’s an old saying, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” So, I have to agree with you on that one! Too much of even a good thing is still too much! —Dave

Hi Lucia,

You are right. I agree that it doesn’t matter if you’re married. I think those that have dated more, actually have the ability to get inside a man’s head and know what he truly is thinking.

If you’ve dated several guys and/or several different types of guys, you have more knowledge about “dating” than someone who married the first person they ever went out with.

Dating is a tricky business these days, and there is a lot of competition. We can use all of the help we can get. —Jessica


Thank you for the reply. Your response was well written and well put. And I completely agree with the particular statement: “I believe you can attract someone at any age. As a society, we need to stop terrorizing women with this antiquated notion that if they don’t hurry up and find someone by a certain age, they are doomed to be miserably single for the rest of their lives.”

I don’t agree with all of the advice that you give women, but who am I! I’m sure they appreciate the feedback. Best of luck to you. —Lynn

Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

Write to Lucia at www.theartoflove.net.

Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at www.lessonsoflove.net.

Listen to Lucia live on the radio every Sunday at 3 p.m. on 1460AM or at www.ktym.com.