Q & A

Hi J.K.,

The term is actually “daddy’s little girl.” This refers to someone who has her daddy wrapped around her finger.

He will do anything for her, buy her whatever she wants and solve all her problems. The result is that even though “Daddy” may be well meaning, he ends up creating a spoiled brat.

This becomes a problem when she grows up and starts dating because she expects men to cater to her every desire. However, if they do, she sees them as doormats and doesn’t respect them. If they don’t, she throws a fit or sulks.

Watch out for women who say things like, “I’m a princess” or “I want a man to treat me like a queen.” These statements imply that they expect men to bow to them as if they were royalty.

A successful relationship requires give and take. “Daddy’s little girl” is only interested in taking.

Hi Lucia,

I am 19 years old and don’t seem to have an emotional connection with anyone my age. For a long time, I have been attracted to older women.

I hate the drama of my generation. It seems to me that women in my age range are losing their want for independent thought.

I like strong minded, mature and beautiful women without the drama. I think that is why I have always been attracted to older women.

Is it possible to find an older woman who is interested in someone my age, or should I just give up?

—Jim

Hi Jim,

Your e-mail confirms that young, adult males are definitely interested in older women for more than just sex. Some people still find that hard to believe. You are obviously wise beyond your years, if at 19 you feel the need to be with someone more mature.

I suggest Internet dating sites that specialize in these types of relationships. I would recommend the following: www.gocougar.com; www.agematch.com; and www.cougared.com.

Hi Lucia,

I just started dating two guys. One of them, Jeff, I met through the personal ads. He used to be dependable about calling me and showing up.

I know he has a busy work schedule, but he has a habit lately of saying he will call and not calling. He also has said he will show up and has stood me up a few times.

The second guy, Richard, I met where I work. He has my phone number but will not give me his number. He does call me but if I miss his call, I can’t call him because I don’t have his phone number.

My question is: Should I move on and find guys who will be more dependable and call me when they say they will? Should I try making it work with both or either of these guys?

—Alexis

Dear Alexis,

Obviously, the answer is: Hell no! Being stood up is a deal breaker.

There is absolutely no excuse for that type of behavior. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t have the decency to at least cancel if they are not going to show up? Two cornerstones of great relationships are respect and trust. Jeff’s actions show he can’t be trusted, and he has no respect for you.

As for our dear friend Richard, he’s either married, living with someone or has a girlfriend. Why would you want to deal with someone who won’t give you his number?

I met a guy once who wanted to hang out. When I asked for his number, he said he’d give me his e-mail.

I thought: E-mail? What’s that all about?

That’s when he admitted that he was living with someone, but he wasn’t happy. I immediately put an end to something that would have led to a dead end.

Everyone who read your e-mail will know the answer to your questions. I understand that when you are in the situation, it’s harder to be objective.

So, the question to ask yourself in the future would be: Would I advise my best friend to date these guys? My daughter? My sister? It’s often easier if we temporarily take ourselves out of the equation.

Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

Write to Lucia at www.theartoflove.net.

Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at www.lessonsoflove.net