I have a terrible crush on one of my college professors. He makes me laugh, tells me that he loves the work I do in his class and isn’t much older than I am. I don’t think I’ve mistaken teacherly affections for romantic attraction. I’m graduating soon … what should I do?
Chris "Krasp" Lee, Downset: Fay, is this your sexual drive talking or are you just naturally horny? I’d say hold off for someone that’s not in the way of business, or in your specific case, learning. Mixing business and pleasure can be dangerous. But who am I to talk? I mix all kinds of things up!
Brian "Ares" Schwager: Do whatever you think is right. Follow your heart – you only live once.
Love Doc: The good news is, you’re graduating! There’s not much stopping you now from dating this guy, such as worrying if he’ll stick you with a bad grade if things don’t work out, or the fact that if anyone found out during the school year it would look pretty bad. Go ahead and test the waters – just make sure he’s not one of those professors who makes it a habit to keep long office hours for all their pretty students.
My boyfriend is shy and doesn’t communicate well. When he has problems in his life, instead of turning to me or someone else to talk things out, he shuts down and keeps to himself. Is there anything I can do to help open him up so that I can help?
Chris: Sounds like me, Donna. I tend to do that sometimes. Just be persistent; some of us just like to ponder on things. We’re not shutting down but rather deeply thinking and not being into the current surroundings. Don’t worry, it passes!
Brian: If he doesn’t want to talk to you about his problems, give him space. But let him know that you are there for him if he does need someone to talk to. If that doesn’t work, maybe you should try to find someone that can open up more and allows you inside their personal life the way you feel is optimal for your relationship.
Love Doc: Sounds like he needs time to work things out himself. You may like opening up to someone else when you have a problem but this might not be his style. How about asking him a general question like, "What can I do to help?" Whatever he says will give you an idea of what he needs from you during his tough times, whether it’s talking it out or going to a ball game with him to forget his troubles.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for two years and she’s pretty open-minded to new things. I’d like to see if she’d be up for doing a three-way – you know, bringing another girl into the mix. What do you think is the best way to bring this up with her?
Chris: Jose, I hope you’re secure enough in your relationship to even bring it up in the first place. And if you are, just go for it! Tell everyone how it was too, since you obviously have no shame – like me! And, for the record, the threesome of which you speak, rocks!
Ares: You need to just come straight out and propose the idea to her, but in a way that will make her feel important in the decision-making on who, where and when. Remember, always make her feel like she’s number one and those types of situations will continue.
Love Doc: Tell her a story about one of your friends who’s had a threesome, then see how she responds. If she finds the whole idea sort of fun and sexy, you can say, "Would you ever like to try that out?" If she says yes, then ask her which girl she would like to try it with. You can take it from there. But be prepared … if all goes well, she may want payback by including another guy. It’s only fair!
—Compiled by Mari Fong
Downset’s Universal is currently available. Downset will be playing with Korn, Linkin Park, The Used and others on the Projekt Revolution tour, Sept. 4 at the Hyundai Pavilion at Glen Helen in Devore. For more information, visit downset.net.
Campus Circle or our special guests are not responsible for the results of taking our advice, nor do we claim to know anything. We just think it’s fun to give random strangers advice.