Simply stated, Laws of Attraction — starring Pierce Brosnan and Julianne Moore — is an abysmal film that lacks in story, character and humor. The latter of which is extremely funny, considering the film — from director Peter Howitt — is supposed to be a COMEDY.

Laws tells the long-winded tale of two divorce lawyers who, despite their initial contempt for each other, end up falling in love. There’s the sharply dressed, great-at-her-game Audrey Woods (Moore) who, despite her career success, desperately lacks in the area of relationships. This soon changes, however, when scruffy but sweet Daniel Rafferty (Brosnan) enters the same courthouse as she, and endlessly tries to woo the standoffish Ms. Woods with his jokester charm and unrelenting perseverance.

The two begin to find affection for each other after they accidentally wind up married during a quickie trip to Ireland — a country which they only visit, however, to sort out the divorce details (deciding who gets to keep the dually purchased country castle) for both sides of a rock star-designer couple, played with zest by Parker Posey and Michael Sheen.

There are many sad things about Laws of Attraction, primarily the fact that, as stated above, it’s a comedy that really doesn’t feature any laughs. While this can, in fact, be blamed on a fairly witless script, it also has to do with the fact that Moore — so great in dramas like The Hours and Far From Heaven — falls flat on her face when it comes to doing comedy. We can applaud her efforts for wanting to diversify her movie roles, but the woman seemingly does not have any comedic timing — but maybe, with this project, there isn’t any to begin with. It’s just one of those chicken-or-the-egg scenarios, perhaps.

The DVD, released late last month, features deleted scenes and an alternate ending (both of which are not that worth checking out), the film’s theatrical trailers and not much else. Overall, it should be a filmic law NOT to watch Laws of Attraction.

DVD Grade: D+