In the world of military order, no one is forgotten – not even the dogs that, as it turns out, all held the rank of corporal in the German army during World War II. In the four years experience we have doing this, we’ve never seen a movie that opened stronger than this one, but ultimately left us scratching our heads.

This is not to say that the following 90 minutes of domination, corporal punishment, forced lesbian encounters, bizarre Nazi experiments, calculated terminations, catfights, rape by retard, rampant full female nudity and execution by firing squad is anything dull. Make no mistake, however, for all this hubub, there’s absolutely no plot of which to speak or complain. And that’s just the way we like it. This cinematic escapade was originally an Italian film, subtitled in Dutch, and then later dubbed en Ingles for those of us who don’t habla, uh, Italian.

Since there’s no story, we can’t regale you with what happens. There are a couple of captive doctors who are forced to assist the demented Nazi doctor (who’s also the head of the camp). A hot-for-girls female camp disciplinarian and a sergeant, who could have made big bucks in Berlin’s underground S&M scene, perform delightful acts of degradation on the inmates.

The brass tax: 32 pairs of breasts exposed; 18 deaths; one sapphic sex scene; one hetero sex scene; one catfight; and one dead soldier brought back to life by a French prostitute.

We give this three and a half beer kegs. See it tonight.

Think you’ve seen something worse or seen something at the video store you don’t have the guts to rent? Send in any requests that aren’t Manos Hands of Fate to k_henryv@yahoo.com and we’ll brave the rapids.