When a bank teller is poisoned by a killer cookie, Margaret Nancy Reagan Ballmouth (Beth Patrik) flees the scene of the crime, abandoning her two small children, the unwitting perpetrators of the heinous act. On the run, Marge meets Bruce (Marc Aden Gray), and crazy conspiracy theories collide.

Some authors can tackle absurdist comedy. Eugene Ionesco’s “Rhinoceros” or Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting for Godot” are shining examples. “Milk and Cookies” is absurd without meaning or substance.

Worst of all, the play’s not funny. The actors make a valiant attempt, but with bad dialogue, idiotic situations and unredeemable characters, none of them make it work. Heidi Fielek gives her best shot, milking the only laughs in the show.

Sidewalk Studio Theatre is located at 4150 Riverside Drive, Toluca Lake. For more information, visit www.sidewalkstudiotheatre.com.