—It’s Happy Bunny™: Love Bites
We can all learn a lot from Happy Bunny, especially around a time like Valentine’s Day. If you sicken easily at the thought of oversized fuzzy teddy bears and pink, heart shaped boxes, then this bunny is the one for you.
Whether you’re single or in a relationship come this Feb. 14, Happy Bunny has some straight forward love advice that will bring out the closeted cynic in all of us.
For example, what does Happy Bunny think of lovers spying on each other? Well, "it’s just like when two people in love go for a long walk, except one of them doesn’t know they’re being followed."
Want to test your love knowledge? It’s easy! Just take the following Happy Bunny pop quizzes:
What’s the very best gift to give your crush?
A) A box of candy after you have gently kissed each and every individual chocolate.
B) A bouquet of long-stemmed roses after you have passionately embraced every flower.
C) A cute little stuffed animal that you have furiously made out with.
ANSWER: All of these are great answers, as long as you never lose sight of the real reason to give a gift: To Get Something in Return. (Also check local laws: It is illegal in several states to make out with a stuffed animal.)
After some time passes, the relationship is going to hit some road bumps. So when
things get a little shaky, what now?
A) Pretend everything is okay and don’t listen to anybody who says otherwise. (Practice this: "La la la la la I can’t hear you I can’t hear you la la la la la la la.")
B) Ask your snuggly-wuggly if they have any friends that are as cute as they are, but you know, way less irritating.
C) Gosh, I don’t know. What do people do with old stinky dogs when they start to get shaky?
ANSWER: This depends. If you’re gross, you can’t be that picky, and you might have to repair this relationship. But if you’re really hot, you might be entitled to expect something better.
And once the relationship ultimately comes crashing down, Happy Bunny gives some final words of wisdom:
"Don’t worry if your new tickle bear is less attractive than your old kissy-wissy. An ugly tickle bear will bother kissy-wissy just as much."