In a scene almost lifted from Fight Club, the ring announcer screams, “Rule No. 1: Do not point at the turtles!” As the assistant lifts up the glass holding cell, the turtles are off, each going in different directions with the aim of being the first out of the surrounding circle. The winner: A cute little guy named Anal.

Every Thursday night, Brennan’s Pub has a night so bizarre, so unique, that it deemed worthy of an exam. In an outdoor opening behind the bar, crowds of loud, drunken faux Irishmen gather around a ring to watch groups of turtles fight for supremacy in an event aptly titled Turtle Racing.

While this concept seemed intriguing, my excitement soon turned into confusion when the aforementioned ring announcer stopped the race when a woman pointed at the turtle amidst all the excitement. Storming over, the announcer angrily scolded the poor woman and demanded she deposit $10 in a dirty jar.

Shame on you, Brennan’s. You have a decent joint, plenty of room inside and out and a dive-y yet clean vibe, but all I want is to point at the turtles. And yell and scream at them, but of course, that is against the rules as well.

As far as Irish pubs go, Brennan’s is strictly by the numbers. A few beers on draft, some whiskey and other spirits complement the Irish theme.

I was unable to sample any of the eats at Brennan’s, but everything looked to be norm for such a bar, i.e. burgers and wings. The place was packed at about 10:30 p.m. this Thursday and is likely to be just about every week. The crowd was young, or maybe it just seemed so as every guy there seemed to be trying extra hard to look like your typical beer guzzling frat boy, though the bald spots and trashy tattoos signaled years past adolescence.

Brennan’s isn’t a complete wash, mind you. With a tummy full of beer and an entourage of bros, turtle racing at Brennan’s could be fun. Unfortunately at roughly six dollars for a 12-ounce beer, the task of getting drunk could prove to be a bit of a financial strain. If you bet enough money on Anal, maybe you can make it a night after all.

Grades – Draft Selection: C; Liquor Selection: B; Price: D; Atmosphere: C; Entertainment/Music: B; Food: C.

For more information, call (310) 821-6622.