*This is the third in a multi-part series presenting excerpts from the above mentioned Field Guide.

Species: Buff Monster

Description: Soap Scrubber with breasts. Some breeds have evolved devil horns, wings, ice cream and cherries.

Life Cycle: Buff Monster lays thousands of silk-screened posters in the streets in the hopes that a few will reach full maturation and live a full life cycle (two to three weeks).

Call: “Pink is Power”

Habitat: Electrical boxes, freeway columns, billboards. Found in highly tagged areas marking its territory with: “The Buff Monster Says: Don’t Do Graffiti.”

Range: Adapting to the culture of Los Angeles by parasitizing the city’s myriad Asian, sexual and Pinkberry elements has allowed Buff Monster to proliferate. Buff Monster appears seasonal, with a rapid spawning on the streets followed by lengthy periods of hibernation, moving indoors for gallery shows. Currently, only the skeletal remnants (cf. Cicada nymph shells) of Buff Monster’s last hatching are available for viewing. As winter approaches, look for a new batch.