Don’t understand women? Feel like a fish on dry land each time you encounter another awkward first date? Brian ZooZoo is here to relinquish all your fears in his step-by-step guide to attracting a female.

Written in simplistic terms that no guy should have trouble following, this book not only gives you tips on how to get your perfect girl, but excellent places to find her and conversations to keep her interested. Unfortunately, ZooZoo says you’ll have to wait for the sequel to learn how to keep your “bi’aatch,” because this has yet to be confirmed.

This motivational how-to guide comes complete with a formula for wooing perfection and a glossary. However, if you’re a guy and are planning on “wooing” anyone, I would highly recommend you never tell your future girlfriend that you have learned all your moves, let alone even read, Brian ZooZoo’s How to Woo a Bi’aaatch.

Grade: B-

How To Woo A Bi’aaatch is currently available.