Hi Lucia,

I met this guy while he was working; I was one of his customers. He is the first guy I can say I’ve been serious about.

At first I didn’t like him because I liked being single, so naturally I gave him a very hard time. As time went on, he ended up being a great guy and very stable.

We tried to keep things discreet. A male friend of mine works at his job as well. I went up there the other day to see my friend for business-related purposes.

My guy is pissed at me now, and he won’t talk to me at all for whatever reason, and he won’t tell me why. He just said that he wasn’t stupid, and I shouldn’t try to play him for a fool.

I haven’t heard from him at all, and yes, my heart aches and I’m upset at the same time. I know my friend is a little flirty. I’m hoping he didn’t make up some kind of lie just to see if there is anything between us because no one really knows, and trust me, they are asking questions.

I just don’t know what to do. I’m at the point to just leave him alone altogether.

Should I just give up because it is a petty situation, or should I try something else because it’s a petty situation? Is he a tad jealous because I went to see my friend? Should I let him blow off steam?

Two weeks ago he couldn’t stay away from me and now all of a sudden, nothing.

—Not so lucky

Dear Not so lucky,

Something doesn’t make sense. If your guy knows the other guy is just a friend, why would he be so upset? If he’s so stable, why is he refusing to have a conversation about it? Have you asked your male friend what is going on? I think there is some missing information here.

The only thing you can do is call and try to talk to him one more time. Do it when you are in a calm state of mind. Tell him there must be a misunderstanding and you’d like to clear it up.

If he refuses, tell him it’s his prerogative to not discuss it, wish him well and don’t contact him again. If he cares, in time, he will contact you.

If you get his voicemail, leave a brief message saying there must be a misunderstanding, because the other guy is just a friend. Again mention that if he doesn’t want to discuss it, he certainly has that right, and wish him well.

Having said that, I would think twice about getting involved with a man who refuses to have a conversation whenever an issue arises.

Dear Lucia,

I have known this guy for some time now. He stares at me from across the room.
We talk from time to time on the phone, mostly texting because of his work schedule. He has never asked me out, but I think he might be interested.

I think he wants a relationship but is afraid to say anything. I kinda want to confront him. I was trying to fight it, but I might like him.

—Keaundra

Hi Keaundra,

You haven’t even gone out with this guy, and you’re already assuming he wants a relationship? Talk about moving too fast.

If a guy has not asked you out, then he is not that interested, no matter how much he stares at you from across the room. Or if he is interested, he can’t ask you out at the moment. Perhaps he has a girlfriend?

Also, if he were into you, he wouldn’t be keeping you at arm’s length by just texting and rarely calling.

If he wants to date you, he will eventually ask. Patience is the key. Easier said than done, I know, but it’s your only choice at the moment.

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