Whether you’re new to Los Angeles or lived here your whole life, finding real friendship is difficult. TV shows like “The Hills” and “Gossip Girl” illustrate the struggles in dealing with fake and real friends.
Though both shows have dramatized circumstances and settings, the core meaning of friendship remains the same. Boyfriends, rivals, etc. are temporary, but real friends last forever.
A real friendship is like a marriage. Real friends are there “for better for worse.”
I recently transferred colleges, which was an exceptionally difficult transition. I mark this past semester as the lowest point in my life where I felt most alone and troubled. Yet, I don’t regret my experiences because out of all my problems, I discovered my real friends stood by me, and fake friends shied away.
My whole life I’ve been that girl who has always found it easy to be friends with everyone. People admired that I could be close with so many different groups and types of people.
During my freshman year, I was the upbeat, party loving girl with many friends. Life was fun and simple, “friends” were bountiful and exciting. However, in my sophomore year, I started to deal with more serious personal problems beyond what outfit to wear out on a Friday night, and slowly but surely I noticed that my group of “friends” became smaller.
Though I regret many actions and decisions I made this past semester, I wouldn’t do anything over because I discovered more of whom I am. I realized that I’ve been too dependent on others, especially friends, for my happiness, and that I need to be happy with myself before I can be a good friend.
This past year has involved much soul searching, yet I feel I am on the right path to figuring out my own life and the people I want in it. Part of my problem this year was having negative people in my life that made me unhappy and sidetracked me from my goals.
The point of New Year’s resolutions is to change into a improved and happier self. Part of that goal is examining the negative friendships you have developed that have kept you from reaching your goals.
I developed a list that I hope will help you discover your Real vs. Fake Friends. You have control of your own life. So, take the reins and rid yourself of those saying “You can’t” and surround yourself with people who cheer you on.
Fake Friend: You feel guarded and that you have to watch what you say because they may take offense or you don’t trust them with certain information. Overall, you don’t feel like you can be yourself around them.
Real Friend: You feel so comfortable with them and don’t worry about what you say because you trust them completely with your most guarded secrets. They have enough information to blackmail you for life, but your trust is unshakable. Your happiness and warmth exudes when surrounded by a real friend because you’re just yourself.
Fake Friend: When someone talks shit about you to a fake friend, they will definitely tell you.
Real Friend: When someone talks shit about you to a real friend, they will definitely tell you … about how they beat the crap out of them because they stand up for you. Someone who wrongs you, wrongs your real friends.
Fake Friend: Wants to be around you when you’re fun, exciting and can offer them a good time. Whether it’s partying or shopping, they are your go-to person, but when you need a shoulder to cry on or discuss problems, they’ve left you in search of the next party.
Real Friend: Always there when you want to hang out and have fun, but always there when you’re desperate and alone. When at your lowest, they don’t see you as damaged goods they can toss for a new toy.
For more, visit Jessica Go’s blog at winnerslose.com.