The pseudo Old World Bible phrase coinage in The Rock Bible grows tedious by page two. A little less literal execution and a little more (any, in fact) subtlety would have greatly helped this “cute” idea of a book gone lame.

The multitude of interesting rock historical tidbits is lost in the convoluted language. In fact, the book becomes almost as unreadable as the 2,000-year-old text itself.

Besides feeling like a crackpot idea for a book invented by two overly caffeinated teenagers playing high school hooky, the book has a few redeeming qualities as far as content goes; like the tidbit about the term “rock and roll” coming from black slang for sexual intercourse. However, discovering these interesting factoids would probably be as easy as going to Wikipedia, and quite frankly more worth one’s time. But if you like bad music career advice and pithy observations about the world of the band all in Bible-speak, then The Rock Bible may be the read you’re looking for.

Grade: D

The Rock Bible: Unholy Scripture for Fans & Bands is currently available.