The end of another year is once again just around the corner. In continuing with the tradition of remembering the important lessons I learned over the last 12 months, here is the list for 2009.

I feel – When talking to men, women need to use “I feel” statements. When you do this, you are immediately being real and the man feels closer. You want to use this as much as possible. If a guy calls and asks what you’re doing, say: I feel so cozy curled up on the couch talking to you. If you’re on a date and the guy asks what you do for a living, say: I feel so lucky to be able to … You can never go wrong using “I feel” with a guy.

Booty Call – If you start off a relationship based on sex, it will probably never progress to something more. The part of the brain that is responsible for falling in love is not the same part of the brain that is sexually attracted. It’s best to wait until the man gets to know who you are and sees you as more than just someone to have sex with. Everyone has regretted having sex too soon, but very few people have regretted waiting to have sex.

Power of No – A woman who can say “No” to what she doesn’t want, shows that she is strong, and therefore, a better bet to help a man “survive” in the modern jungle. This means that your wants and needs are just as important as his. You say “No” to what doesn’t feel right to you, to what you don’t want and ask for what you do want.

Positive Partial Reinforcement – You naturally do this with the person you’re not interested in – you see them or talk to them when it’s convenient for you. You throw them a bone once in a while, but you don’t go out of your way for them. These are the people who end up being crazy about you. You are witnessing the effects of PPR.

Best wishes for a healthy holiday season and prosperous 2010.

Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.