I’m 30 years old, educated, independent, nice looking and still a virgin. Whenever I date, nearly every man brings up sex on the second date and then doesn’t call back if say I want to wait for at least two or three months until we know each other better. I don’t want to bond with anyone based on a hormone rush from sex.

Recently, I dated a highly educated man who said it’ll be very interesting to have sex with a virgin and then we can be friends. I told him I didn’t want to see him again.

Now I’m dating with a man who is 10 years older than me and makes me feel at peace. I don’t know where this relationship is going, but he didn’t bring up this issue too early, and that impressed me very much.

Who suggested the third date rule? It’s not a comfortable thing for me.


Hi Emerald,

I don’t know who started the third date rule, but it was probably a guy. This is because of the differences between the sexes when it comes to, well, sex. Guys have billions of sperm and are programmed to “spread their seed” as soon as possible, with as many women as possible. Women have a limited number of eggs, are programmed to be more selective when it comes to having sex.

Women often have sex too soon, thinking that if they don’t, they’ll lose the guy or if the sex is great, they’ll catch the guy. Both these thoughts are incorrect.

I used to tell women to have sex when they “felt” like it, until I realized that most women these days are not in touch with their feelings and would probably end up having sex sooner rather than later. So, the time to have sex with a man is when you are absolutely sure that it’s not just about sex. You know that he wants you for you, not just for your body. The sex will mean something to him. Until then, you and all women should keep their legs closed and their eyes open!

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