I have not had a real date in over two years. I think I am relatively attractive (I’m no model, but I take care of myself.), I have a great sense of humor, am physically active and fit, am intelligent and educated and have a variety of interests. The men I meet who are interested in me all seem to be much older and not in the physical shape to which I am attracted (Yes, I admit being a little bit picky.).

I think there are two primary problems: 1) I don’t meet that many men who are single outside of work (and I will not date co-workers or clients) and 2) the men I do meet really just want to sleep with me.

I have been told by many men that I am “hot,” but rarely do I hear that I am “beautiful.” I do not dress overly suggestively or put out a vibe (that I’m aware of anyway) suggesting that I am only interested in sex. I keep hearing that I need to go out by myself, but I don’t even know where to begin with that suggestion. I’m starting to wonder if my only option is the men who just want to sleep with me or the old guys who I don’t find attractive.

—Nancy

Since I’m unable to speak with you in order to figure out what the issue might be, I’m going to suggest a metaphysical approach. This is actually the best approach, but most people aren’t open to it.

Do not think about, talk about or dwell upon what you don’t want. Whenever you have the thought that all the men you meet are either older or just looking for sex, immediately change that thought to: Younger, attractive men want to have a relationship with me. That’s it!

I know it sounds too easy, but the best solutions are usually the easiest ones. In the meantime, be open to meeting men anywhere you go. This means smiling and staying off the “crackberry.” Do it (don’t just try it) for 30 days and let me know what happens.



Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.