I have been seeing a married man for about six months. I’ve tried to break it off several times, but we have so much chemistry that we keep getting back together. Our passion and love life is amazing.

Even though we discussed the fact that I could get pregnant, we continued to not use any birth control and I am now pregnant. I had two abortions in my 20s and told him that I would NEVER have another abortion NO MATTER WHAT.

I am 36 years old and do want to be a mother. He wanted me to get an abortion the first week I told him, but he has now accepted my decision to have the baby. He wants to keep the baby and me from his wife and family because of the humiliation and ridicule he will have to face.

He has no children with his current wife, but has three children from his ex wife and two other girlfriends of his past. Yes, he sounds like a total loser, but he is actually a very caring and compassionate man – just very mixed up.

I’m not going to tell his wife, but sooner or later she will find out. I also do not want to tell him to hit the road because he is the father and I am hoping his feelings may change once the baby is here, and if not, well, I am fine with that also. I am prepared to be a single mother. He pays child support for his children and is very close to them. What do you think? —Anonymous

What is your definition of a mother? Do you think that simply because you give birth, you are automatically a mother? A mother puts the best interests of her child first. She would never risk becoming pregnant until she was in a committed relationship with someone who was available and not a loser. She would never bring a child into a situation where it will be forced to grow up without a father in the home, thus making it more likely that it will become involved in criminal activities or end up “on the pole.”

It doesn’t matter what I think because it’s obvious from your actions that the only thing you care about is what you want and how you feel. Unfortunately, your child will now have to pay the price for that.

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