Everybody is constantly looking for an altered state experience. Folks want to get their buzz on each weekend, so they head to a bar. They like the giggles and the munchies, so they hit up their friend with the best sticky. But for some – like myself – the legalities of dealing with that stuff can be a real pain in the butt and therefore, a deterrent. I mean all it takes is one DUI to ruin a life these days. Luckily, Los Angeles has a ton of places where the envelope can be pushed, without incurring too much trouble in the process.

If weed is your thing, you can always hit up a pot dispensary for that sore fingernail or road rage that has been causing your incurable anxiety. Or you could do the respectable thing and try hookah bars. Hookah is India’s version of hitting the bong. It’s a legal way to relax and unwind with friends, while enjoying some good food and fantastic ambiance in the process. For a fun hookah experience, try the Hookah Lounge and Restaurant (7469 Melrose Ave., Hollywood). My friends and I used to hang there after work. Morphing into the Cheshire Cat is easy with its Zen decor and gorgeous wait staff. And the best thing is, pipe rental is only $18.

For those who’d love to try smoking in a more intimate setting (like home), you can also purchase a number of marijuana alternatives. Marijuanaalternatives.com is a site devoted to helping tokers get buzzed. Choose from a number of herbal extracts and legal buds that give you the same relaxed vibe as the real thing, but at a fraction of the cost. Gone are the days of dealing with that sketchy trust fund kid from your dorm, or worse, driving to the wrong side of town for a fix. The site also sells all the accoutrements (such as well-priced pipes and papers) needed for a good time.

A year ago, I was busy with school and working a full-time job that I absolutely hated. A very dear friend suggested that I deal with my stress and annoyance by going to a hypnotist that he was seeing. He said that the experience left him feeling extremely relaxed. I went in somewhat skeptical that the process would work for me. Since concentration isn’t exactly my strong suit, I had no idea if I’d be able zone out. However, there I was in the office, deeply relaxed while receiving instruction on ways to minimize all the taxing monotony in my life. I booked a number of sessions until I’d been conditioned into a much calmer version of my former self.

You definitely want to go with somebody whose licensed or certified in their field. After all, this is only your mind you’re dealing with. Voss Hypnotics (7470 N. Figueroa St., #104, Los Angeles; vosshypnotics.com) is a great place to start. Therapist Stephanie Voss even hooks you up with a free initial consultation.

Seemingly every week somebody famous is getting pulled over by the LAPD for driving under the influence of something. You’d think that with all that money celebs could afford a designated driver. Don’t screw up like Kiefer Sutherland or Khloe Kardashian; you can easily call a designated driver to take your ass home! Designated Driver Services (ddguy.com) chauffeurs you and yours around this great city of ours for next to nothing ($50 gets you 10 miles; it’s $2 for each additional mile after that).

It works like this: If and when you find yourself in an emergency situation, two people show up at your party or at the bar. One drives you home in your car and the other follows behind to ensure that you both make it there safely. Now you don’t have to worry about some shady, lying cabbie driving you the long way home, adding miles and time to your fare. DDS also allows you to make a reservation if you know in advance that you’ll be getting your booze on. They also cater to practically every part of Los Angeles, so you have no more excuses to scrimp on your personal safety.