I went on a date with this guy, and he text messages me every other day. We only went on one date, and he’s not calling, only texting. When I brought it to his attention jokingly, he just texted me back hours later joking about what I said.

Should I ignore his text since he isn’t putting in the effort to ask me out again? Should I go out with other guys? —Desiree

Texting has become a double-edged sword. While it’s often convenient, people who don’t have great conversation skills or are not that interested are using it to hide behind.

You’ve only gone on one date, and you are already making this guy soooo important. If you feel like responding, go ahead. If you’re busy or don’t want to respond, then don’t.

Getting upset about it is not going to get you anywhere. Instead see it as a clue as to his feelings for you. Never make someone a priority when they only see you as an option.

Should you go out with other guys? Why is this even a question? Until you’re engaged, married or in an exclusive, committed relationship, you should always date other guys!



Thank you so much for your wonderful newsletters and podcast. They’ve changed my life. I was being a doormat, and I never even knew what a doormat was!  Whenever my guy used to leave me for another woman, I always used to think “what’s wrong?,” since I was extra nice to him.

Your articles gave me the courage to stand up for myself and my needs. It taught me to believe that it was OK to want what I want and OK to feel what I feel. I deserve the relationship I want. I don’t want to be around the people who don’t want me.

People around me comment that I have changed. One guy stopped calling me since I am not being a doormat and sex-toy for him anymore. I dumped my psycho guy who used to push my buttons for no reason at all. Whenever he saw me cry, that’s when he believed that I loved him. If someone makes me cry, they aren’t worth me and my time. —Ankita

I’m very touched by your e-mail. At the end of the day, I believe changing people’s lives for the better is the most important thing anyone can do, and I’m so happy to have been able to help you “see the light.”



Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.