I’m a longtime reader and fan. Lately the media has over sensationalized the plight of the single black female because 42 percent are not married. The solution to the problem is portrayed as interracial dating.

I am attracted to a person based on their personality and, in theory, am open to it (I’m a black female.). However I’m not interested in most white men, and the feelings seem to be mutual. Friends and I usually only get approached by the drunk ones, which is a huge turnoff, regardless of race.

I’ve heard that white men are more subtle and less aggressive when approaching a woman, especially black ones. Basically, we might not even know if a white man is trying to date us. Supposedly “normal” dating rules, such as letting the man pursue you, have to be flipped in those instances. If a man can’t approach me (black or white), why should I give him the time of day? I’m interested in knowing your thoughts on interracial dating. —Monica

I have no problem with interracial dating – at the end of the day, we’re all human. If you’re not interested in white men, there are still a lot of other races to consider. “Normal” dating rules always apply, no matter what race. He is a male first before anything else.

I agree that if a man is interested, he should be the one to approach, however, you do have to give him a signal that you would be open to meeting him. This means looking at him for at least three seconds and smiling. Make sure your body language also shows that you will be receptive. Uncross your arms and legs, turn in his direction and tilt your head slightly! These all signal that it’s safe to approach.



Just read your column where you said, “Should you go out with other guys? Why is this even a question? Until you’re engaged, married or in an exclusive, committed relationship, you should always date other guys!”

This is something that I wanted to hear from someone all day. I just needed to know that I don’t have to date one guy when I can circular date and meet lots of men and have lots of fun. Thanks, Lucia.



Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3pm PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.