Am I being shallow if the first thing I look at in a guy is his looks? —Dajana

Before we meet someone, we usually see them before we talk to them, so the only thing you can use to size the person up is their looks – it’s called a first impression. However, if after meeting someone, you don’t like their personality or don’t feel a connection, then you are being shallow if you are still willing to date them just because of the physical attraction.

I’ve been dating a guy for two months now. He is 25, and I am 42. Everything is great, and we are falling for each other. I’ve heard you say these relationships don’t work. Why is that? And if so, how long do they usually last? —Sunny

I don’t recall ever saying these relationships don’t work. I’d probably be the last person to say that. What I have said is that guys under 25 are generally not good candidates for long-term relationships because they are still sowing their wild oats.

It really depends on the maturity level of your guy, what he’s looking for at this point in his life and how strong your connection is. At two months, you’re still in the honeymoon phase. Instead of being concerned about when it will end, just enjoy it and see what happens.  

Bravo and brava on your article, “Why Guys You’re Interested in…” It almost seems that staying in the feminine is becoming an “Old World” concept. The young girls today are being raised in an almost androgynous society. All you young ladies listen to Lucia – she just knows intuitively how to handle the opposite sex! —Jennifer

Write to Lucia at Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.