Why do some married men or those in relationships often shamelessly flirt with single women? A fair share of them approach me, much to my annoyance. I don’t respond or encourage them, but some are relentless.

A female friend said that’s just how men work – they like to play with a woman’s emotions despite either person’s relationship status. That’s blatant disrespect to the women they’re in a relationship with and to me. Nothing about me says I’m the type of woman who wants to be the other woman or encourage disrespectful behavior. I am quick to call a man out if I feel he’s out of line.

A male friend said men like to see if they still have it and can attract a woman. Am I missing something here? There is nothing attractive about seeming like a potential cheater. I don’t know what it is about me that attracts these types, but I definitely want to change it. Could I be too naïve in thinking a little shameless flirting can go a long way (though not with me)? —Willow

Since I don’t know you, it’s hard to tell why you are always approached by guys who are already attached. I wouldn’t take it personally. These types of guys see it as a numbers game – they hit on a lot of women, knowing that eventually someone will go for it.

How do you stop it? I believe we attract what we focus on, whether it’s positive or negative. The fact that this bothered you enough to write to me tells me this is on your mind a lot. Don’t put so much energy into it; don’t waste your time being annoyed. If anything, just shake your head and move on. You should soon notice that you are approached by them less and less.



Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.