I have been dating a guy for a little over two months now. He has not shown me any signs of affection. I am not talking sex here – that can wait. I mean kissing, hugging, hand holding, touching or making out.

I think he may be shy. I am not the outgoing type either, but I could be if I knew he was indeed interested in me and wanted to keep me around. Also, a glass of wine could help, but he does not drink!

I brought this issue up to him and asked what I was to him, just a friend to have dinner with or am I more. He said he wants a friend first. I am now wondering if I need to make the first move. How do I approach this?


As I’m sure you know, it’s very unusual for a guy not to at least try something after two months. There could be a lot of things going on here but dating isn’t about playing therapist, so don’t waste time trying to figure out what it could be. You have to ask yourself, “If nothing ever changes, could I be happy with this?”

I’m guessing your answer is no, otherwise you wouldn’t have written to me. So, since you’ve already asked him about it and he’s given you an answer (which I don’t believe, but that’s what he wants to tell you right now), then you need to do what I always tell women to do. Until you’re exclusive, date other guys.

If he ever comes around and starts being affectionate, great, but life is too short to sit and wait for him to change.

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.