My ex boyfriend from college found me on the net after 10 years. I am happily married, and he is also married. We live in different countries but recently met for lunch.  

Naturally we went back to old memories and he apologized for breaking up with me without a good reason. He said he still loves me and will continue to do so. I asked him to stop talking about the past as I have moved on.  

He dropped me off at work and suddenly kissed me on the lips. I was so shocked. I felt very guilty about it. He asked me if I loved him too. I still like him, but I am confused as to if I love him.  

He has asked me a few times by e-mail but I have not given a straight answer. I agreed to meet him as a friend only, and now I am wondering if I made the right decision.  

—Nita

It’s always tempting to meet up with an ex, even if it’s just to see if you missed out on anything by not marrying them. However, you are now married to someone else, so what difference does it make whether it’s like or love that you feel for your ex?

It doesn’t sound as if he’s happy in his marriage, so he is testing the waters to see if there is still a chance with you. If you are as happily married as you say you are, you need to stay away from him completely, before you end up doing something you regret and putting your marriage at risk.



Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember:  Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.