Earlier this year I met an interesting and sexy married woman. She said she was no longer in love with her husband and was very attracted to me. I’m single and wanted to have a good time with this woman.

We had great sex and talked about all the things we had in common. Initially all contact was from her, however a few months ago, she stopped.

I called her and she said she was busy and would call me back, but didn’t. I want to contact her again but not in a needy, “little-boy-style” of someone who wants his toy again.

We never talked about a serious commitment because I think these things should be organic. I don’t understand how she could disappear after an intimate and intense six months.


You played with fire, and you got burned. You thought you would be able to “have a good time” but found out that once feelings enter the picture, it’s no longer just about sex.

How can you expect a married woman to talk about a commitment when she already has one?

I understand you want closure. The best way to do that is to send her a brief e-mail saying you enjoyed your time together and understand that now it’s over and that’s OK. Wish her the best and leave it at that. Do NOT ask for an explanation or for her to call you. If she wants to do that, she’ll do it without you asking.

I hope in the future you will only date women who are single – it makes things a lot less complicated.

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.