I’ve just met another much younger guy (16 years), and we’ve both fallen for each other. I want to settle down, but I don’t think I have found the right guy. I can’t seem to be interested in guys my age or older than me.

I had an earlier relationship with another guy 25 years younger, and he still wants to continue the relationship. I’ve kept away from him because he is too young, even though I still have feelings for him.

I want a man to settle down with, and my honest feeling is he should NOT be much younger and at the same time he must be matured. I can’t see myself with an older guy.

I want to know the difference between a “feeling” and “love.”

—Chi Chi



Many people get into trouble because they base their decisions only on their feelings. Think of your mind as the sky and feelings as clouds. Just as clouds change and disappear from the sky, so it is with feelings. They are always changing, that’s why you can’t use only feelings to make a decision about your future.

Love is based on respect and admiration. You may have strong feelings or chemistry with someone, but you may not always respect them.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to settle down with a younger man, however I would advise you to pick someone over 30 if you are looking for something that has a better chance of going the distance. As long as he is ready and willing to make a commitment, the fact that he’s younger should not be a problem.



Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.