I am 48 and have been with my 29-year-old boyfriend for two years. We are more in love now than when we met. I look very young for my age, but regardless, I am what I am. We have great sex and laugh so much. We do not live together, and that is because I have been keeping it this way.

We see our friends separately because of the age difference. I have a few friends who are very cool with our relationship but are much older than him too. We live in such a small town we are talked about, and I think most women are just plain jealous.

We both want more but are a little nervous about how to present this to our families. I have been slowly meeting his brothers and he has met my sisters, but now there are more family members soon to arrive.

His family doesn’t know how old I am. They think I am 40, and the mom freaked out because she was worried about grandchildren.


Hi Yasmin,

Ah yes, the problem with the potential mother-in-law. Isn’t it funny how, now matter how old someone is, they are still concerned about their partner’s mother?

I would not suggest you reveal your age. It’s not because there’s anything to be ashamed of, I just don’t think that there’s a need to bring it up. They are already concerned about an “11”-year age difference, so I don’t think they would be too thrilled to find out it was actually 19. In either case, it’s really no one’s business. If anyone asks, you or your boyfriend can remind them it’s not polite to ask about a woman’s age.

As for concern about grandchildren, if your boyfriend’s mom loves her son, her first priority should be that he is happy and in love with a woman who is good for him. If all she cares about is grandchildren, then she is only thinking of herself. Why should he have to sacrifice being with the woman he loves, in order to fulfill her wishes? Everyone is free to date or marry whom they want (well, except for gay people) and to choose whether or not to have children.

Keep in mind you’re not doing anything wrong. Some family members will accept the situation and some won’t, however that is their business, not yours. Don’t try to convince anyone of anything they’re not ready to accept. Just be an inspiration of how two people in love treat each other, and you will hopefully eventually win everyone over.

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.