Hi Lucia,

Somewhere or somehow, I am something wrong in my relationship. My boyfriend says I call him too much, but even if I don’t, he’s still cold with me. He says he loves me and everything is perfect when we meet, but we meet only once in a month and do not communicate much otherwise. After we meet, it’s like I do not exist for him anymore.

I call him and text him almost every day, but only occasionally he will reply back. I know that I should go away from him, but I really want to be with him and I really love him. How should I be with him so he will want me more?  

—Helen



Hi Helen,

Never make someone a priority if they only see you as an option. If he only has time for you once a month and rarely replies to your texts, he’s not that interested. Love is a verb, not just a noun. How can he love you if he only wants to see you once a month?

Since you don’t want to move on, the only thing I can suggest is to stop pursuing him. It isn’t working, so why continue? If you want to keep seeing him, that’s up to you. Do not contact him at all and don’t ask him why he never contacts you. If he’s interested, he’ll start to pursue you.  

In the meantime, please start dating other guys, so that you are not obsessing over someone who rarely thinks about you.



Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.