Hi Lucia,

I’ve recently met a guy online, and we clicked immediately. He seems to be a nice guy – not a player. We are more sexually into each other than anything else. We see each other through web cam and have done a few sexual things. Is it bad to engage in sexual behavior just a few days after meeting? I enjoy it very much.

We live in different cities and have not met in person yet, but we have talked about it and it’s a possibility. Would it be bad to have sex on the very first date? What would be the correct amount of time to have sex if it doesn’t happen on the first date? I really want to be with this guy and at the same time I want it to last at least for a long time, even if it’s just sexual. How do I keep things interesting? —Tammy

Hi Tammy, When I first read this, I thought, “Is this a joke”? You’ve already been sexual via web cam and now you want to know if you should suddenly be puritanical on the first date? What difference does it make at this point? As the saying goes, “The horse is already out of the barn.”

You claim you want to be with this guy even if it’s just sexual, but you contradicted yourself in your second sentence when you said, “He seems to be a nice guy – not a player.” If you’re OK with just a sexual relationship, why would you care if someone is a player?

As for this lasting a long time, you should have thought about that before you gave it up so quickly, even if it was only over web cam. Even if something is just going to be sexual, why not wait until you’re actually in the same room? At the end of the day, how satisfying can cybersex be?

You said you talked about meeting in person, but it’s very likely that will never happen or if it does, it will be a one-time thing. A lot of guys are happy to just have sex online, sometimes with several different women – it’s easier and more convenient than dealing with a real, live person.

There’s nothing to keep interesting because this isn’t going to last.

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.