Hi Lucia,

Is it normal to crave oral sex? I’ve been in a relationship for four months. He’s a great guy and an awesome lover; however, he won’t let me perform oral sex on him. He says, “No woman of mine is going to do oral sex, that’s disrespectful.” I love him and would like to do it, but I don’t want him to think I’m a loose woman who enjoys oral with her man. —Aeesha

Hi Aeesha,

I never thought I’d see the day when a guy didn’t want to receive oral sex. Most guys can’t get enough of it and sometimes prefer it to actual intercourse, so I have to say, I’m a bit suspicious.

There could be several reasons for his attitude. On the plus side, he may be telling the truth and really doesn’t want you to do it, he’s had a bad experience and is afraid to try it again or he has certain religious beliefs. On the minus side, he may have an STD or be sexually confused.

If he doesn’t want you to do it, you certainly can’t force yourself on him. Some women who aren’t fond of oral sex wouldn’t care, but since you do, it’s up to you to decide whether or not this is a deal breaker.

Either way, please know there is nothing wrong with enjoying oral sex. It means you’re uninhibited, not loose.

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.