Hi Lucia,

I am engaged to a guy that I have been involved with for six years. I broke it off with him in March because he cheated on me. Three months later we decided to give it another shot, with the agreement that cheating won’t be tolerated. I have caught him asking women out for dinner, but he always has some stupid excuse. Today I checked his e-mail, which I know is wrong. I tried to talk to him and he kept getting mad at me, telling me he loved me and he is not going anywhere. I found an e-mail to a woman, making plans to meet.

I blew up at him on the phone. I have had enough but truly don’t know how to walk away. He throws in my face how he buys me things and treats me so good. My response was, “That doesn’t give you the right to do this, and this was our agreement.” How do I walk away? — Paula

Hi Paula,

Actions speak louder than words. You “said” cheating would not be tolerated, but when you caught him yet again, instead of walking away (action) you got angry at him. Getting upset with him tells him you’re willing to stay there and put up with it.

You’re right – buying you things doesn’t give him the right to be unfaithful. I don’t know what his definition of “treating you good” is, but for most people, it doesn’t include infidelity.

The fact that you are checking his e-mail and unable to walk away after he has shown you time and time again who he is, tells me you are probably a love addict. I would suggest you join Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (http://www.slaafws.org).

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.