Hi Lucia,
I had a great relationship with a girl for a year until suddenly she changed and wanted the relationship to end after she aborted our baby. It was hard to convince her to come back. After a year, I got involved in another relationship and got married after six months. We have tried to have a baby for two years, but my wife cannot conceive. My ex is not married and is willing to give me a baby. What do you think I should do? —Petro

Hi Petro,
I thought I’d heard everything until I got your e-mail. You didn’t say how your wife feels about your ex being willing to “give you a baby,” but I can’t imagine she’s too happy about it, if you’ve even discussed it with her. Would you want one of your wife’s exes to father your child? I doubt it.

I understand the strong desire to have a child can sometimes cloud one’s logic, but this idea is not acceptable. If you want to use a surrogate, find someone else whom you haven’t had an intimate relationship with. Otherwise, there’s always adoption. Many wonderful people were adopted, including the late, great Steve Jobs, Marilyn Monroe and Faith Hill.

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from Lucia’s Lessons of Love at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.