: Q & A

Dear Lucia,

I met a woman online a while ago who lives in London. We developed a friendship that turned into more. I finally met her in person in London several weeks ago. All I can say is – fireworks! We felt very comfortable with each other. It was as if we have been together for 10 years. On top of that, our physical connection is incredible. Long story short, we are in love with one another. She has her life in London, which is complicated, and I have mine here, which is no less complicated. I am planning on seeing her again for a month very soon. Very romantic yet very intricate. I would love for it to work out, but I know it will not be easy. What is your opinion?

—Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I feel you. Meeting someone new, feeling fireworks and an incredible physical connection is like heaven on earth. Long distance relationships are difficult to begin with, but when the person lives in another country, it’s even more complicated. An amazing first connection doesn’t always translate into a great relationship. Right now you have each other on pedestals and think the other person can do no wrong. You think you’re in love, but love requires appreciation, and you don’t know each other well enough at the moment to really appreciate each other.

Let time be your guide. Being together for an entire month will give you a better indication as to who she is and what she is really about. If things are still great after that visit, one of you will have to eventually move to be with the other. Good luck.

Dear Lucia,

Do you believe in fate when it comes to meeting the right person, or is it our job to make things happen? Or is it both?

—Chance

Dear Chance,

Great question. While we’ll never really know, I believe that who you are going to meet has already been fated. When you hear stories of how some people met, you know it had to be fate. However, we do have free will and it is up to us to decide if we are going to date someone.

A friend of mine met her husband when he was driving by and saw her walking into a store. He drove back just to meet her! Fate brought them to the same place at the same time, and free will allowed him to decide he wanted to meet her. So, the answer to your question is both!

Dear Lucia,

Can you give me some suggestions on how to make a girl like me as more than a friend? Also, what should I do if I like a bunch of girls and can’t decide which one I would like to further my relationship with? I’m 18.

—Wes

Dear Wes,

I’m glad you included your age, because I had a feeling you were young. Your first question lead me to believe you had your eye on one girl, but your second question seems to indicate you like several girls. At 18, you should be dating several girls (though not necessarily sleeping with all of them). Right now, you’re like a kid in a candy store and you’re trying to figure out what you like. It’s also a time to learn how to behave with the opposite sex and to learn how to not be selfish and put someone else’s feelings and preferences before yours. Don’t worry about getting "serious" with anyone. It’s too soon!

REMEMBER: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.

Write to Lucia at: www.theartoflove.net

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