Hi Lucia,

I was recently introduced to a guy who lives in another city. He was in town for a weekend and got in touch with me, and we met up for about three hours. Our chat was very casual –he seems to be loving his single life.

When we parted, he told me to look him up if I am in his city anytime soon. After 10 days, I got in touch with him via e-mail expressing that it was really cool to meet up, to which he replied that he really enjoyed it too.

Now he has been getting in touch very, very late at night with drunk messages, and wants to flirt –sometimes dirty flirt. I didn't feel like dirty flirting, but I went along with the casual flirting.

I don't know if he’s really interested in us getting to know each other, and I don’t want to keep in touch if he’s not.  -Priyanka

Hi Priyanka,

As usual, actions speak louder than words.  A man who is interested in a relationship with a woman would not risk losing her interest by drunk texting or “sexting” after only one date. In fact, he wouldn’t even bring up sex in the beginning, and would certainly not contact her when he was drunk.

Yes, he’s interested in getting to know you, but without your clothes on. You’re looking for something else, so this is not a match. Be glad you found out early and move on.

Hi Lucia,

I am back with an ex-boyfriend, and my problem is that he doesn't know how to make me happy. He is cheap and doesn’t have a lot of time for me. He is always busy with his job, thinking about what to do next. I’m wondering if he can change, and make me happy in the near future.  -Queenzy

Hi Queenzy,

This man is very focused on his work, and you are not a priority at the moment. There’s a reason you broke up. It’s possible things may change in the future, but how much time to do you want to wait to find out?

If you still want to see him, I would suggest you let him know you don’t want to be in a committed relationship with him at the moment, and start to see other guys as well.

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from her book, Lucia’s Lessons of Love, at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.