Hi Lucia,

I live in New York and the man I was dating moved to Florida. I found out he has two younger women staying with him. He denies it and claims to care only for me.

I am torn between what he was before all this nonsense and what his actions have shown me, with him bringing these girls into his life while shutting me out. 

I am so tired of being lied to. Why can't he just be honest about his foolishness and how he is choosing to spend his life?  -Hilda

Hi Hilda,

As usual, actions speak louder than words, so if you’re torn, look at what someone is doing, not what they’re saying. The fact is, this is who he always was --you just didn’t get to see this side of him until now. 

I once dated a guy who I thought was a homebody. He was home almost every night and rarely went to nightclubs. Shortly after we broke up, he became a promoter at a club, and it seemed as if every month he had a new girl. I thought I knew who he was, but I obviously didn’t.

If he doesn’t care enough to be with you, why would he care enough to tell you the truth?

It looks as if he’s moved on, and I would suggest you do the same. 

Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from her book, Lucia’s Lessons of Love, at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.