I met a man on a social network last year. We talk on the phone all the time and are very much in love. He is already talking about marriage. We haven’t met yet and he wants me to visit him at his base. I know he loves me and I feel something strong for him too, but now am nervous to go and see him. He wanted to come and see me when he was on leave but I turned him down.
Now he cries to me on phone on a daily basis, begging me to come, even if it’s just for 2 minutes for us to meet with each other. I want to see him too yet I have no courage to go and see him. Does it mean I am afraid of love? What should I do? Light
It always amazes me when someone tells me they are in love with someone they met on a social network yet have never met in person. You may like him a lot, you may have strong feelings for him, but love? No, I don’t believe it’s love – at least not yet.
I don’t think you’re afraid of love – I think you’re afraid of intimacy. As long as the relationship is over the phone or computer, you feel safe. But a face too face meeting makes you anxious because now you have to take things to another level.
I don’t believe in doing anything that doesn’t feel good, so if you’re not ready to meet him yet, then don’t. You can continue the friendship – because that’s what it is at this point – as you have been, and maybe you will eventually want to meet him. If not, then I would suggest you see a professional to discuss your fear of intimacy.
Write to Lucia at theartoflove.net. Read an excerpt from her book, Lucia’s Lessons of Love, at lessonsoflove.net. Listen to Lucia live every Sunday at 3 p.m. PST on latalkradio.com. Remember: Love inspires, empowers, uplifts and enlightens.